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GIVING UNTIL IT HURTS

Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 13, 2012

“The more is given the less the people will work for themselves,
and the less they work the more their poverty will increase.” Leo Tolstoi

I have this wrestle before God and the Angels every year at this time.  To give or not to give is not really the question.  But it is what should I give, how should I give it, and will the net result be greater freedom and happiness for the recipients?  You see, I am all about freedom and the pursuit of happiness.  My greatest pleasures come from giving to others what they cannot obtain for themselves.  But  because that is my creed, to do only for others what they cannot do for themselves, I really don’t have to give or do much at all for others.  How can that be?  Because most people, if given the tools, opportunity and incentive, can usually become self-sufficient.

There are dozens of local organizations that provide food, shelter and toys to families during the month of December.  I don’t fault those which are stop-gap emergency providers for families out of work, or stricken by illness, displacement, or natural or personal disaster.  The poor are always among us.  The number of truly struggling families has increased with the current, grinding recession.   But even though the poor will always be among us, the poor should not be a static population of perpetually dependent families and individuals.  Most people have the capacity to cycle out of a poverty state.  A motivated employee will find the motivated employer that even a languishing economy produces.

School-based programs have allowed parents to abdicate the basic responsibility of nourishing their children.  Most school districts offer breakfast and lunch.  Many offer dinner, summertime lunch programs and weekend meals.  Most districts will try to increase the numbers of kids on free and reduced lunch because it opens the door to Federal “Title” funds.  Nutrition departments will actually send applications for free lunch to people who have been eligible in the past, even if the family has no present need.  The bloated nanny-state Feds have created a reciprocal loop of perpetual poverty.  You will be pressured to stay “poor” because your self-sufficiency decreases the money pot.  Painfully ironic I think. Also, painfully ironic, is the myth that people are hungry in this country.  It seems the less people have in 21st Century America, the fatter they are.

There is a program in my town which provides food for children to take home on Friday so, the theory goes, they will not go hungry before they get their next meal at school.  The children are not at fault.  Many of them are hungry and lack for the basic human needs.  But the root causes of their hunger, parental neglect, drug abuse, apathy, will not be cured by a program that further enables these folks to ignore the needs of their children.  Some organization, some school, some church, some government program will feed the kids, so why should they spend their money or time on something so trivial and constant as nourishment?  These programs are nearly always open to abuse.  There is no screening required, just an application submitted by the parents stating that there is a need for someone else to provide food for their kids.

Each year at Christmastime countless charities incentivize  the criminal presence of illegal aliens in the community by practicing an “ethos” of non-discrimination.  Of course no one wants to see any child suffer without the goodies that Chris Kringle plops under the tree.  But there are entire communities of illegal alien families who receive charitable goods and services from churches, schools and other organizations far above and beyond the consideration given to  needy citizens.  The insistence that illegal alien families are just as deserving as everyone else is truly stunning to me.  These are people who have chosen a lifestyle of lawlessness partially because they are not held accountable for their crimes.  They openly defy the laws of this country in which they find such generous succor. And illegals further tax the social welfare programs that are stretched beyond capacity by citizen recepients.  This perpetuates, and even celebrates, one of our most destructive social and economic problems.

The spectre of a toyless Christmas for the unfortunate kiddies among us drives the same instinct that feeds the kiddies for the rest of the year.  Nearly everyone has a “toy drive” , a “toy run” or scads of “angel trees” stationed strategically around the burgs.  The bell-ringers are out in force and numberless churches and individuals fill in the blanks to ensure that no child is left bereft.  I am no Scrooge, in fact, I want Tiny Tim to have everything he needs to be well and happy. But it would be an injustice to Tiny Tim and his family to fix hooks of dependence into their lifestyle.  The same families come back year after year to the goodie pot of charitable giving, with the same level of desperation, never having a reason to solve their own employment or educational problems.  They are the Christmas dependents, stuck, not  unlike little children, in the fantasy that some fat, benevolent, magical being will always provide, so they can suck their thumbs and dream of sugar plums.

The shame associated with accepting “handouts” is long gone.   There is little or no stigma associated with allowing someone else’s hands, substance and money to support you and your wee ones.  It is often an indication of street savvy and “working the system” to use handouts and government welfare so that one’s earnings can go for the good stuff in life; cars, clothes, eating-out, and big, flat-screen TVs.  It’s not unusual to see people who pay for groceries with food stamps, load those tax-payer subsidized groceries into a big, expensive, late-model truck .

So this is the essence of that burning Christmas question; To give, or not to give? Who benefits most from the giving?  Are givers often burdened by the guilt of  great prosperity and material wealth?  Does giving ease the guilt? Do the getters suffer on some level, being lured into a lifestyle of comfort and abundance without having to exert themselves?  There is a spiritual cost to those who never know the satisfaction of self-reliance or of passing the tests that adversity presents. Are those perennially lifted by the hands and resources of others motivated to overcome personal paucity, or are the perquisites of poverty too great to give up for the strain of the daily grind?  Can there truly be freedom where there is no independence?

I will give carefully, with an understanding that even charitable actions have a consequence. I will give to those who have the sorrow of need in their hearts and the light of gratitude in their eyes.  I will give to those committed to make themselves the givers, not the takers, by this time next year.  I will give to those who, after all they can do, are still unable to fill the voids in their larders or closets or pockets.  But the best gifts of all that I will give will be words of praise, smiles, and the encouragement that people have what it takes to succeed.  The poor will always be among us.  It is better for them and for me that I remind those I seek to aid, through acts of thoughtful, Christian kindness, that the only being upon whom they should be fully dependent is The Lord God Himself.

 By Marjorie Haun  12/13/12