I am a little embarrassed by knee-jerk Conservatives. This kind of fussy, neurotic reaction to words is the domain of Liberals and twits.
I am hanging my head in shame. We have become them. The once rugged, individualistic, dauntless, stalwart Conservative has morphed into a paranoid, persnickety, whiny, panty-waist Libtard. Let me tell you the sad tale…
“Happy Holidays” is a useful term because it supplants the wordy, “Happy Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Pearl Harbor Day, Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Year’s!” I used this efficient greeting in a recent email that went out to about 1,350 rock-ribbed Conservatives. The truth is, I will send out a Christmas greeting a few days before the Holy Day. I don’t like to dilute the power of Christmas and the story of the Christ Child by stringing it along for weeks. But the response to my innocent “Happy Holidays” email makes be feel like I’ve been plucked, burnt, bombed, hung on a tree, boxed, and knocked over the head with a bottle of champagne! The blast of outrage that came, as a result of my mere choice of words, from my “stalwart” Conservative friends reminds me of the Politically Correct indignation of which only Liberals were once capable.
And so, here I droop, downcast and weary, and sadly cognizant that the pendulum has swung to the far extreme of its reactionary arc. Conservatives have become so aware of the assaults on their values and traditions by the gargoyles on the Left that they bristle with paranoia at the mere inkling of Liberalism. “Happy Holidays” was not an offensive term until the politically correct, anti-religion crowd adopted it to replace Christmas. But some hyper-sensitive Conservatives are so fearful that the term, even when used in its traditional way, is a threat to the things they hold dear, that they over-react with withering criticisms of anyone who fails to express a Christmas greeting in a way with which they feel comfortable. In other words–hold onto your butts kiddos–some Conservatives are guilty of censoring the language of others so that their feelings are protected. They are the CPC, the Conservative Politically Correct.
I am a little embarrassed by knee-jerk Conservatives. This kind of fussy, neurotic reaction to words is the domain of Liberals and twits. But it is becoming idiosyncratic among Conservatives who feel that they have been, forever, political pinatas. Now, with the emergence of the Tea Party and a new majority of self-identified Conservatives, they feel their time has come and that they’re entitled to some measure of protection from Liberal attacks on their sensibilities. This is the very essence of Political Correctness; the idea that words should be manipulated, edited, censored, construed, and misconstrued, to protect the feelings and tender “self esteem,” of the downtrodden. Wow, this really is embarrassing.
Make no mistakes, I am a rock-ribbed Conservative. I am a friend of the Constitution. I am a religious and practicing Christian; a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am devoted to the restoration of America to its appointed grandeur. But upon seeing some of the reactions to my words that have come from other “Conservatives,” you would think that I am a venal, demoncat, monstrosity that crawled out of the bowels of the most degenerate, hippie commune in the poisoned heart of West Hollywood.
Lighten up already. If you are a Conservative and you find yourself having a seizure over the way people use words, you want to either reassess your political alliances, or find a good therapist. One of the most tragic results of this over-sensitivity to words and different approaches to political conversation would be the loss of humor. A powerful weapon brandished almost exclusively by Conservatives has been a self-effacing, “words cannot hurt me”, sense of humor. Liberals have never been able to laugh at themselves. Their insecurities are too close to the surface, their self-loathing too prone to exposure. Words really do hurt them. Their life constructs are so fragile that simple intonations of speech must be abridged and muted so that they don’t crumble under the weight of burdensome actualities. Let’s not be like that. Are we not the tough, resourceful, good-humored, self-deprecating, affable, and optimistic frontiersman of a new age of Liberty?
Yes, so relax already. The world doesn’t need anymore wimps. And…Happy Holidays.
By Marjorie Haun 12/1/11