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Patriot Gals, are You Ready for the Hijab?

BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of “The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at: Barnes and Nobel.com , Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com.

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 22, 2013

There is no rule of law in Shariah. It is often arbitrary and cruel, and always administered by the tribal leaders with the most brute force behind them, whether those tribal heads rule a dusty outpost in Afghanistan, or a nuclear state in Iran. Traditional  Western more’s such as monogamy, equal rights under the law, special regard and protection for children, the elderly, and the disabled, have no home in Shariah.

I use–or abuse–Facebook a lot, to promote my books and generally raise hell with the enemies of liberty. Until now Facebook has been pretty much what I’ve made of it. But the last few days an advertisement by Um Anas Islamic Fashion for designer hijabs has been roosting right at the top of my feed. Every time I fire up my laptop, staring me in my classical feminist woman face, is an ad, promoting 12th Century garb, using pretty Western women. I makes me sick. It also unnerves me, and Facebook provides me no way to hide it from my wall.

Facebook’s fawning advertisements for clothing which represents the oppression, abuse, and debasement of women, are just another symptom of creeping Islamophilia in the West, and, although our society has gulped many poison pills; abortion, homophilia, and general moral rot, none of these ills has yet killed us or completely altered our Western way of life. But the acceptance and embracing of Islam will be a toxin that cannot be assimilated without poisoning and eventually extinguishing the West, its Judeo-Christian religious foundations and history of progress and innovation. Islam is the ideology that stops time, and turns it back to the Dark Ages, frustrates individual liberty, and ends industry and invention. And to this independent, religious, liberty-loving woman, the hijab is representative of nothing less than human subjugation.

Nonie Darwish is an Egyptian-born woman who converted from her native Islam to Christianity–at the risk of death. A human-rights activist, she travels the world educating Western people on the ways of Shariah, or Islamic “Civil” Law.  She has compiled a list of eye-opening facts that paint the true picture of the hell on earth that many Muslim women must endure.

• In the Muslim faith a Muslim man can marry a child as young as 1 year old and have sexual intimacy with this child, consummating the marriage with sexual intercourse by 9.
• The dowry is given to the family in exchange for the woman (who becomes his slave) and for the purchase of the private parts of the woman, to use her as a toy.
• Even though a woman is abused she can not obtain a divorce.
• To prove rape, the woman must have (4) male witnesses. Often after a woman has been raped, she is returned to her family and the family must return the dowry.
• The family has the right to execute her (an honor killing) to restore the honor of the family. A husband can beat his wives ‘at will’ and he does not have to say why he has beaten her. The husband is permitted to have (4 wives) and a temporary wife for an hour (prostitute) at his discretion. The Shariah Muslim law controls the private as well as the public life of the woman.
• Female genital mutilation (female circumcision) is widely practiced in many Muslim nations. If often leads to permanent disfigurement and pain.
• In many Muslim countries, including those which are economically and industrially developed, such as Saudi Arabia, women lack the most basic rights that Western women take as given. They cannot drive a car. When appearing in public only the face, hands, and feet may be revealed. “Morality police,” men wielding sticks who monitor female observance of the rules of modesty, will strike a woman’s ankles or wrists, which may appear just above the hands or ankles, with a stick.
• Women in many Muslim countries are not allowed to vote, and in more extreme regimes they are not allowed to become educated and will be punished for pursuing knowledge other than what is allowed by the Imam of the village.
• Extreme corporal punishment for offenses considered relatively minor in Western countries, such as theft, fornication, or disobedience to parents, is exacted in some Muslim countries in the forms of beheading, amputation, and stoning.
• Dog killing is widely practiced in Muslim countries.
•  Individuals, businesses, and governmental bodies in European countries undergoing Islamification are being sued in court by Islamic organizations who wish to supplant Western law with Shariah law.
• In the Western World ( Canada, Australia, United States and Britain ) Muslim men are starting to demand Shariah Law so the wife cannot obtain a divorce and he can have full and complete control of her. It is amazing and alarming how many of our sisters and daughters attending American, Canadian, Universities and British Universities are now marrying Muslim men and submitting themselves and their children unsuspectingly to the Shariah law.

There is no rule of law in Shariah. It is often arbitrary and cruel, and always administered by the tribal leaders with the most brute force behind them, whether those tribal heads rule a dusty outpost in Afghanistan, or a nuclear state in Iran. Traditional  Western more’s such as monogamy, equal rights under the law, special regard and protection for children, the elderly, and the disabled, have no home in Shariah.

A recent story describing the death of an 8-year old Afghan girl at the hands of her middle-aged husband brings to light the horrors women must endure when Islamic law renders them defenseless and without the most basic rights. The child was “sold” by the Imam of a village to a friend of his, a large, much older man. On their wedding night the man found sexual intercourse with the child impossible. Using a knife he attempted to enlarge her tiny body to accommodate him. The little girl died from exsanguination before morning, her little body ashen and frozen in anguish.

Western women treasure the rights for which their forbears fought. Perhaps too many take their personal liberty and safety for granted. We all must pay attention to the red flags signaling creeping Islamophilia– irrational affection for and trust of Islam, and accommodation of its practices and practitioners–and reject them outright. Islamic women’s fashions are such a red flag, Dressing in hijab, in my humble opinion, is the equivalent of stepping into a cage. Fight to keep Islam, which is not a religion but a political ideology and system of totalitarian government, out of our communities, and out of our closets.

by Marjorie Haun  5/22/13

Just Say NO! to Another National Park: Here’s Why

 BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com. 

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 20, 2013

Homes, farming operations, and indeed everything within the “view shed” of this magical mesa may be changed forever.

The Colorado National Monument, established in 1907, abuts the Southwestern corner of the Grand Valley, my home in Western Colorado. The Monument is 32 square miles of sandstone carved into sheer cliffs and dramatic canyons by epochs of erosion and seismic activity. It’s pink, white, and gray sandstone strata are delicious to behold and offer unique opportunities for motor tourists, bikers, and hikers. It’s by ways consist of one main 22 mile road that loops the entire monument, and numerous foot trails and climbing areas. Independence Rock is its most recognizable feature, jutting hundreds of feet from the canyon floor, a stubborn remnant of the erosion that claimed the stone that once connected it to the surrounding mesa.

The Colorado National Monument is a beautiful place to visit, a local treasure, and the backyard of hundreds of residential homes and small farming operations. Those homes, farming operations, and indeed everything within the “view shed” of this magical mesa may be changed forever.

A United States Senator from Colorado, Democrat Mark Udall, is pressuring his compatriot, United States Congressman, Republican Scott Tipton, from Colorado’s third District, to join him in introducing a bill that would change the Colorado National Monument to a National Park. Udall purports that since the National Park Service now oversees its upkeep and other concerns that there would be no increased interference from the Federal Government should it become a National Park. Scott McInnis, former United States Congressman and gubernatorial candidate, also from Colorado’s third District, relates a very different perspective on the potential impact of having a National Park that is literally in the backyards of established farms and neighborhoods. McInnis is a veteran of the process required to designate and name a national park.  He was instrumental in the creation of Colorado’s Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park and Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve.

In a conversation with Representative McInnis, he expressed the following concerns related to changing the designation from a national monument to a national park so near developed neighborhoods, farms, and a medium-sized city.

• Although national monuments and national parks are regulated by the Federal Government, national parks are managed far more extensively than monuments. National parks are considered the “crowning jewels” of the Park Service and subject to more expansive regulations.
• The “view shed” is a major consideration in locating a national park near populated areas. This is the leverage the Park Service has in determining that anything within the “view” of the potential national park should actually become a part of it. This could include the regulation of commercial and residential development within sight of the park, smoke from fields when farmers burn them off in the spring and fall, and light “pollution” considerations which could lead to the regulation of the amount of candle power residences, or a city a mile or so in the distance, can display at night.
• The natural appeal of a national park brings with it increased traffic. It is theorized that the traffic generated would be far higher than the capacity of the single road that currently serves the Colorado National Monument, its surrounding neighborhoods, and the vast farming community on top of its mesa, Glade Park. People wishing to access the area  may be limited in their ability to use private vehicles, and subject to fees, or the necessity of using shuttles to travel back and forth.
• Glade Park is a small township at the top of the monument. It is the home of thousands of acres of farm and grazing land, a fire department, post office, and store. Several camping, fishing, and swimming areas are also located in and near Glade Park. The primary access road to Glade Park cuts through the eastern end of the Monument. When the Colorado National Monument was first created, the residents of Glade Park had to sue the National Park Service in a court of law in order to win the right to freely access the road to their homes and farms without having to pay a fee. It is likely that with the increased traffic and the imposition of stricter regulations if it is designated a national park, that residents of and visitors to Glade Park would have to obtain special permits to use the road, or pay the entrance fee. This would be a huge burden on the population of Glade Park as well as teachers, friends, relatives and other local residents who make regular trips there for myriad reasons.
• Several small orchards, cow pastures, horse operations, and other private agricultural outfits currently abut the Colorado National Monument on the west end of the Grand Valley. Many of them use chemicals and/or pesticides for their crops. They must burn off their field stubble in the fall and the weeds in the spring. The increasing use of Eminent Domain by government at all levels puts these small farms and businesses at very high risk should they find themselves with a National Park immediately across their fence.
• The Colorado National Monument is already considered an “unfriendly neighbor” because of the limitations placed on access and use, such as a ban on bike races on the road looping it, and a ban on dogs, even when leashed. As a national park it is certain that it would be even less friendly than it is now.

This region of Colorado is tourism-rich. Dinosaur Diamond, the Colorado River, mountains, deserts, canyons, and quick access to literally hundreds of busy recreational areas, saturate the calendars of even hard-core local enthusiasts. One of the arguments FOR making our treasured Monument into a National Park is the increased revenue from tourism. Unlike most other national parks, however, the Colorado National Monument is the backyard of suburban and semi-rural neighborhoods. Increased interference from a federal government which has already proven itself to be hostile to private property owners, and pretty much everyone else, will almost certainly lead to unintended and negative consequences to residents of Mesa County. I would encourage everyone who reads this to call Senator Mark Udall and Congressman Scott Tipton and ask them to please just say NO! to another national park.

Mark Udall

Coloradans, call toll-free:
877-7-MUDALL (877-768-3255)

D.C. office

Hart Office Building Suite SH-730

Washington, D.C. 20510

P: 202-224-5941

Scott Tipton

Grand Junction office

225 North 5th St., Suite 702
Grand Junction, CO 81501
Phone: (970) 241-2499

D.C. office

218 Cannon HOB
Washington, DC 20515
Phone: (202) 225-4761

by Marjorie Haun  5/20/13

Pro-Gun, Pro-Life: Conservative Hypocrisy?

 BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com. 

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 18, 2013

These principles, when distilled to their essential components, offer no contradiction, and no hypocrisy. Life is God’s supreme endowment to man. The right to defend that life is man’s supreme responsibility.

The recent assaults on the 2nd Amendment by the Obama Administration, and Democrats in D.C. and many states, have coalesced Conservatives as never before. Many who sat on their heels during the 2012 election cycle were energized when their right to keep and bear arms came under attack in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary slaughter took place in Newton, CT last December.

Although the Curtis Gosnell horror story broke months ago, the 8-week trial of the Philadelphia abortionist has riveted pro-life Conservatives as the butchery abortion advocates refer to as “reproductive rights” came to light in gruesome testimony. The Gosnell trial coalesced Conservatives with a sad opportunity to expose what pro-lifers have know about abortion since it was fully legalized in 1973, that it is the bloody taking of innocent life.

Gun control and abortion ignite passions on both sides. But more importantly, these issues delineate the differences between progressives and conservatives in the stark terms of life and death. Progressives equate guns with violence, while advocating abortion as an acceptable “choice” which needs no rationale other than a woman’s whim. Despite the progressive proclivity to inflict violence on the unborn, they simply cannot understand the Conservative ethos of protecting life with an effective mechanism for defense. But Life and Guns are two rights, that to the moral citizen, are in complete harmony.

Most pro-life Conservatives are also supporters of the 2nd Amendment. Most law-abiding gun owners, especially those in red states, are religious and pro-life. Both beliefs spring from Natural Law and the God-given right to life, and its geminate, the right to defend life.

For centuries the most effective and sure means of self-defense has been the gun. And the Bill of Rights ensured that it would be the right of every citizen to own and use one. Shameful exceptions once existed. And although it took nearly 200 for the spirit of the Bill of Rights to be realized, the notion that “The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed,” has defined Americans as the freest, and most prosperous citizenry every to walk upon the earth. Government was dethroned, and the people, with their arms, became its ruler. The 2nd Amendment is the insurance policy which secures all other rights from the tyranny of the state.

Guns, when acquired and used by moral people, are a virtue. They act as a deterrent against criminals. They keep an overreaching government at bay. Moral people with guns are guardians of the rights of all good citizens. Those who would use guns  in a criminal act would not be deterred by the absence of guns. They would simply find another weapon with which to exact control over their victim(s). Guns have no moral value in and of themselves. Moral people use them for the highest and most noble purpose, to protect life. Criminals will use them to attack and control the defenseless. Tyrannical government is simply a criminal state. And that’s why gun control policy is such a significant threat to individual liberty. Without an effective deterrent, a criminal state will use force to dominate and impose its will upon a defenseless populace.

Scissors, forceps, scalpels, suction equipment, and other such devices are surgical tools used to save lives, or enhance the quality of life, depending upon the nature of the surgery. They have no intrinsic moral value, one way or another.  In the hands of abortionists the same tools take life. In the most egregious act in all creation, butchers like Curtis Gosnell, take the lives of the defenseless. Abortion for convenience is a form of killing that insults Natural Law, and Nature’s God.

Life and Guns are core values of Conservatism. There is no disagreement in these ideas, although they become muddled when liberal church politics, such as the specious assertion by certain sects that gun control makes citizens safer, are injected into the debate. But these principles, when distilled to their essential components, offer no contradiction, and no hypocrisy. Life is God’s supreme endowment to man. The right to defend that life is man’s supreme responsibility.

by Marjorie Haun  5/18/13

The Lingering Darkness of War

 BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com. 

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 17, 2013

Please welcome Viet Quoc Tran, our latest guest blogger, to ReaganGirl.com.  Mr. Tran lives in Vero Beach, Florida. He has worked as an accountant and is currently pursuing his dream of  becoming a writer. He has written for Vietnamese language blogs which promote freedom and democracy in Vietnam. His favorite writer is Alexander Solzhenitsyn and his favorite American president Ronald Reagan.

Mr. Tran arrived in the United States in 1992. He lived in California for many years before he moved in Florida .

The Lingering Darkness of the War

Our Kids: Canaries in the Cultural Coal Mine

 BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com. 

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 16, 2013

Our kids are suffering from the toxic vapors of an immoral, degraded culture.

Children are like the canaries in the cultural coal mine; when toxins fill the environment, they’re the first to drop.  Though retired from full-time teaching, I keep one foot in the world of public education, teaching and consulting for my school district. Most of my assignments are where anti-social, emotionally-disturbed, violent, socially confused, and otherwise at-risk youth are placed in Severe Needs Behavior (SNB), and/or pre-incarceration programs. Alarming trends are occurring in such settings, including my medium-sized school district in a semi-rural corner of the West.

The most obvious change in the last couple of years has been roughly a doubling of the number of Special Needs Behavior (SNB) classrooms throughout my district.  One such “last resort before incarceration” school, which once housed only high school students, has expanded to middle school, and for the first time this year, elementary school-aged kids. This program really is the last stop before children land in the juvenile justice system, or are institutionalized, for the sheer danger they present to others and themselves. Numerous school programs exist with teachers trained specifically to address the severe social/emotional/and behavioral needs of troubled children. The elementary classroom on the “last resort” campus which I mentioned, is the school for children who pose threats beyond those that can be managed in the other, already intensive, SNB programs.

Such programs serve a certain percentage of students impacted with organic conditions such as Autism or mental illness such as Bipolar disorder. In my experience, that population is the minority. Most children filling up SNB programs in my town and across the country, have been impacted by preventable social factors such as physical and/or emotional abuse, drug abusing parents, or neglect. Problems suffered by students with Autism or other organic problems are sometimes exacerbated by poor parenting, neglect, abuse, or other familial disruptions. Most often these factors; abuse, neglect, and substance-abusing parents, are a package deal. It appears that the arm of Special Education that is meant to support students with behavioral disabilities, is instead, picking up the pieces of children broken by poor parenting, neglect, and a sick culture. Let me share a few case studies.

• A boy with Autism, innately bright, is neglected by his single mom who allows him unlimited time playing video games and accessing the Internet for a variety of activities. He obsesses about Internet gaming, and though he can give a complex tutorial about such a topic, he cannot identify his home state or his birthday. He comes to school inappropriately dressed the the teacher often has to dress him in the warm clothes she keeps in her room for him. This child shows addictive behaviors related to the Internet, and becomes explosive if not handled with a specific protocol when it comes to transitions. This boy is 6 years old.
• A boy whose caretakers; mother and grandparents, have been in and out of jail many times–most often for selling marijuana–has unmanageable behaviors in class. He refuses to follow directions and never completes even the simplest classroom assignments. He mumbles a constant stream of obscenities, seemingly for shock value. He demands adult attention, thriving on the negative attention that comes from acting out. When teachers and administrators try to hold him accountable for his non-performance, his mother–if she in not in jail–will confront staff and defend the boy’s destructive behaviors. The boy has indicated that his grandfather goes to Internet chat rooms where he will talk to very young girls. The boy has begun to openly masturbate at school and requires continuous line-of-sight supervision. This boy is 10 years old.
• A girl with severe disruptive, belligerent behavior has alienated her classroom teacher and spends most of the day in the SNB classroom at her school. She is of normal intelligence, is physically healthy, but lacks structure and accountability at home. Her single mother coddles her and insists that she has a disability. The mother does not discipline the girl at home and does not rebuke or punish her when the girl swears at or strikes her. This little girl knows that no matter how deplorable her behavior becomes at school, she will be rescued and indulged when she goes home. This girl is 8 years old.
• A teenage boy who identifies himself as “gay” is placed in a semi-incarceration program partly for his disruptive behavior and partly because his annoying actions make him a target within a normal student population. He cultivates a flamboyant character and openly discusses his many sexual encounters, including instances of male prostitution. Although such language is discouraged, he is already in a highly supervised, restrictive environment, and there are no protocols to address such non-criminal offenses. This boy has no diagnosed mental illness, and does not have criminal or aggressive tendencies. But his bizarre, overtly homosexual, obnoxious behavior estranges almost everyone with whom he interacts, even the most tolerant of students and teachers. This boy is 15 years old.
• A teenage girl is encouraged to attend a “last resort” school by her counselor because she refuses to work in a typical middle school. Her single mother gave birth to her at an early age and is dependent on government assistance. She is pregnant and claims that she doesn’t know who inseminated her. She seeks sexual liaisons with boys at the school and openly talks of sexual encounters. Although she does little or no work while at school, and is often disruptive and rude, the staff encourages her to come to school to keep her off the streets and monitor her pregnancy. She speaks of how school is “stupid,” and of her plans to have her baby because then she “won’t have to do anything to get her money.” This girl is 14 years old.

Just a decade ago children like these were the rare exception. Few schools required programs designed to house emotionally disturbed, dangerous, or otherwise behaviorally-challenged kids. Education is a secondary, and sometimes tertiary, factor in such settings because  time, resources, and physical facilities are geared towards keeping the campus safe and regular classrooms functional in the presence of severely aberrant students.

Organic mental illness isn’t increasing because the environment is more toxic than in the past. Unhealthy relationships, drugs, generational government dependence, and shattered families all cause some degree of personal stress. When such factors are co-morbid, you end up with kids who cope in unhealthy ways. Our kids are suffering from the contagion of an immoral, degraded culture. One must consider that in everyone of these case studies, are examples of how behavior condoned by pop culture and/or supported by government, lends to the emotional and behavioral disruptions that land children in very expensive SNB programs.

Sex education in schools removes the moral implications of sexuality and prepares children for early sexualization by teaching them how to have sex and minimize the chances they will cause a pregnancy or contract a disease.  Homosexuality is taught as just another band in the spectrum of normal. Children too young to have formed a healthy identity may be pegged as gay or lesbian or bisexual, and that “alternate” sexual identity is encouraged and cultivated by their “tolerant” peers and progressive teachers. Such a child will naturally be confused and miserable, feeling that cultural pressures have trapped him in an identity which he may not be prepared to actualize, or may be contrary to his value system, or natural impulses.

The Obama Administration is perfectly “comfortable” with the notion that very young girls and their partners–whether older men in the case of statutory rape, or very young boys–can have sex, obtain Plan B abortifacients, or get an abortion, without parental notification or consent. The very heart of the government is ordaining the perversion and ultimate destruction of our kids.  Physical well-being, relationships, identity, and mental health all suffer when immoral practices are fostered.

Government welfare guarantees an income to any young woman who has a baby outside of marriage. Medicaid will pay for the pregnancy and birth, and as soon as the girl turns 18 she can apply for a galaxy of federal, state, and local benefits. Girls who get pregnant while in their teens have been brought up, often by their single, welfare-dependent moms, knowing that bastard children are their ticket to a leisurely, though limited, lifestyle, in which they will not have to do the work of higher education or of making a living. The more babies, the more free stuff.

Drug use is encouraged by pop culture, and now in states such as Colorado and Washington, it is condoned by government via the legalization of marijuana. Some facts are stubborn such as the fact that pot IS a gateway drug and most often leads to the abuse of other substances. Pot is rarely used by itself. There are no drug test requirements for those receiving government benefits. Mental and physical health are never enhanced with the use of illicit drugs. In my experience, many troubled children come from homes where neglect, abuse, early sexualization, poverty, government dependence,  and mental illness are all traceable to parents who are so stoned they don’t care, and whose primary concern is staying that way.

What has changed in the last few years to account for the explosion in numbers of children who can be characterized as dangerous, insane, sexually perverted, self-destructive, and sociopathic? Like the proverbial canaries in the coal mine, children will succumb to environmental toxins before adults even notice there’s something poisonous in the air. Our kids are succumbing now to the deterioration of American culture, specifically families and homes impacted by an essential and encompassing moral decay. Neglect, absent fathers, the lack of structure, expectations, and accountability, and government that fosters delinquency and dependence, may not fully account for the exploding numbers of students entering Severe Needs Behavior programs, but they are factors almost always present in a majority of these kids.

by Marjorie Haun  5/16/13

Mormons and the “Equality” Deception: It’s Not Just Politics Anymore

 BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com. 

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 15, 2013

The Parable of the Wheat and the Tares

 1 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you my servants, concerning the parable of the wheat and of the tares:

2 Behold, verily I say, the field was the world, and the apostles were the sowers of the seed;

3 And after they have fallen asleep the great persecutor of the church, the apostate, the whore, even Babylon, that  maketh all nations to drink of her cup, in whose hearts the enemy, even Satan, sitteth to reign—behold he soweth the tares; wherefore, the tares choke the wheat and drive the church into the wilderness.

4 But behold, in the last days, even now while the Lord is beginning to bring forth the word, and the blade is springing up and is yet tender

5 Behold, verily I say unto you, the angels are crying unto the Lord day and night, who are ready and waiting to be sent forth to reap down the fields;

6 But the Lord saith unto them, pluck not up the tares while the blade is yet tender (for verily your faith is weak), lest you destroy the wheat also.

7 Therefore, let the wheat and the tares grow together until the harvest is fully ripe; then ye shall first gather out the wheat from among the tares, and after the gathering of the wheat, behold and lo, the tares are bound in bundles, and the field remaineth to be burned.

To explain the parable of the Wheat and Tares is pretty simple. Wheat is the nourishing staple grass which is full of protein and vitamins and sustains life. Tares are noxious weeds identical to wheat when in their early stages. The tares are not differentiated until they are almost ripe and so can only be weeded out once they have grown up among the wheat stalks. Wicked people who cleave to the false doctrines of the world–Socialism, homosexual marriage, etc–have been raised up in the Church alongside those who are faithful to Jesus Christ and His true and eternal doctrines which comprise the Plan of Salvation. Faithful and humble saints, the wheat, will not recognize the corrupt and worldly among them, the tares, until they are fully ripe. Then the church will, must, be cleansed of its wicked elements before the Lord will return to Earth to claim His people and build His kingdom.

A patch of particularly toxic tares exists in their full array of colors today within the LDS Church, and unfortunately some wheat is becoming entangled in their poisonous vines. “Mormons for Equality” is not affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), but is a growing movement of church members who are active within their congregations, and who advocate for every form of sexual wickedness imaginable, disguised as “Christian love.” Their website, which is expertly executed, even goes so far as to use the same look and letter fonts used by lds.org.

The problem is not that Mormons for Equality exists, the problem is that many choice and well-intentioned members of the Mormon Church are hopping aboard this wagon load of tares. The leaders of the LDS Church rarely take sides on political issues and warn local bishops and members not to preach party politics from the pulpit. Resources garnered from its faithful member through tithes and offerings are allocated for building temples and meeting houses, funding missions, and supplying the great global humanitarian effort of the Church. California’s Proposition 8 battle was the most famous exception to this rule. The present situation illustrates that this division within the Mormon Church is not just about politics anymore. With public sentiment softening to the notion that a man can be a wife and a woman can be a husband, and the “Harry Reid” ilk of Mormon emboldened by the cultural swing to the dark side, the Church finds its members at odds with one another over God’s most basic moral commandments.

Homosexuals and the Democrats have taken one of the most grievous Biblical sins, which Jehovah Himself refers to as an ‘abomination,’ and marketed it as a right. Guilt and shame are used to convince those who oppose it on moral grounds that doing so is in itself immoral and against the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The practitioners of sin, homosexuals and others with perverted sexual proclivities, have changed the language labeling themselves using acronyms, and calling their decadent sexual arrangements “civil unions” and “marriage.” And despite the clear condemnation of homosexuality–among other vile sexual sins–within the Bible, it’s been insinuated into every level of society, including the leadership and teachings of many major Christian sects.

• Lev. 18:22,  Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
• Lev. 20:13, If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
• I Corin. 8:9-10, Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
• 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
• Romans 1: 26-27, For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
• ²⁷ And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

A Warning from the Children of Israel

During the 400 some years the Israelites spent in Egypt–many of which were in slavery–their religious doctrines and traditions became somewhat intermingled with those of the polytheistic Egyptians. Though slaves to the Egyptian state, they enjoyed meager security and an assurance that they would be fed. They became assimilated with their oppressors. Moses was chosen to take the Children of Israel out of Egypt and to the promised land. But the first generation, who had been raised up alongside Egyptian culture and religious practices, and having regressed spiritually during its captivity, struggled not only with the uncertainty of liberty, but with their own religious beliefs. For forty years they wandered until that first generation of escapees was virtually wiped out, and the next generation who had been raised in the adversity of the wilderness, but being inculcated with sound and consistent teachings from the religion of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, eventually found themselves worthy to enter the Promised Land.

Latter-day Saints and other Christians, Jews, and people of other faiths which have Biblical foundations, have intermingled too much with the world, and many doctrines have become corrupted. Even when church leaders are unwavering in their adherence to doctrine, divisions within the flocks have adopted ideologies contrary to God’s eternal truth and His plan for mankind. Faithful, kind, people, even those with scriptural educations, are falling one, by one, family by family, flock by flock, for the lie that homosexuality is equivalent to the holy covenant of matrimony between an Adam and an Eve.

Mormons, Catholics, Protestants, Jews, beware. No church is immune to those powers trying to destroy churches from within. When the doctrines of false religions pollute the absolute Word of God, the people are deceived. I don’t believe this time that God will give us forty years in the wilderness to pull our act together.

by Marjorie Haun  5/15/13

Barack and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year

BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of “The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at: Barnes and Nobel.com , Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com.

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 13, 2013

“They said I couldn’t shoot the broad side of Hillary Clinton! I can’t believe that people made fun of me! It’s not fair! I know all I need to know about guns to take yours away!  What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year this is turning out to be.”

I was so happy to be president again. I leaped into my second term so happy because I thought I could do what I wanted with all my toys, like  Air Force One, the Rule of Law, and the national economy. First I tricked the creeps in Congress into voting for keeping us from going off the Fiscal Cliff! Ha ha! There wasn’t a cliff to go off of! I tricked those jerks into raising taxes! Hahahaha! Man I was feeling good. In my State of the Union speech I reminded everybody in the whole world how awesome I am, and how government was gonna take care of everything! I was soooo cool! Up there with Nancy Pelosi standing up every 2 seconds and clapping her jiggly butt off! But something horrible happened. Those icky Republicans in Congress called my bluff and voted for Sequestration.  I didn’t think they’d go for it! It’s just not fair. So, you know what? I tried to scare the holy s*** out of Americans. I wanted them to think that they were all gonna die because Republicans were being such meanies. But it didn’t work! I tried so hard to make everyone believe that a cut in the rate of government spending was gonna kill them, KILL THEM ALL. Republicans voted for Sequestration and it passed. Nobody died. It’s just not fair! I hate my life. This has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. I think I’ll move to Guam.

Boy, was I red in the face after nobody died when I told the whole world that everybody would be killed by the nasty Republicans in Congress. So I decided to make everybody suffer! I closed the White House! It’s my house, I own it, I can do what I want. Then I tried to furlough the airport guys, but NOOOO, the Republicans passed a rotten bill to give airports money so things would be like normal. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP! This is turning out to be a no good, very bad year.

But, I had another plan! I was gonna take away everybody’s guns! But I had to pretend that I know something about guns, which I don’t, which isn’t fair, but I pretended to go skeet shootin’. So, I tweeted a picture of me holding a fake shotgun with photoshopped smoke coming out of the barrel. They even made it look like I was outside, and everybody knows the only time I go outside is to golf. It was so cool. But everybody made fun of it! They said I couldn’t shoot the broad side of Hillary Clinton! I can’t believe that people made fun of me! It’s not fair! I know all I need to know about guns to take yours away! What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year this is turning out to be.

Speaking of guns, I had the perfect chance to take away everybody’s guns once and for all! See, last year, right before Christmas all these little kids got killed. Heck, I don’t care who killed ‘em, or why, all I care about is that they were killed with guns! Yes! This was my chance to repeal the 2nd Amendment and then I could do whatever I wanted! I worked really hard to get a bill into the Senate. Everybody was behind me. I was gonna win this one. But NOOOOO! The icky Republicans and poopy-head Democrats in the Senate killed my gun control bill! It’s not fair! Why doesn’t anyone like me? I had all these parents of dead kids and stuff. Joe Biden cried, I cried, and boy was I ever MAD! I didn’t get what I wanted! This was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for me. Maybe I’ll move to Cuba where they like me.

And then Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea and cuddles up with fat little fatso, Kim Jong Un! Hey, I was supposed to do that! He’s my friend and you can’t have him! Rodman blew it for me. He betrayed me. I hate him soooooooo much! And then fat little fatty North Korean guy threatens to blow up the entire country, and I forgot to have a plan to keep him from blowing us up. I forgot, okay? I just forgot. This was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time for me. I almost moved to China just to show little fat fatty who’s the boss!

And then this very bad thing happened in Boston. A lot of people got killed and even more go their legs blown off. David Axelrod and I were sure it was icky Conservatives that blew up those people. Golly, I was so disappointed that it wasn’t Americans that blew people up, but Islamic Terrorists from Mother Russia who did it. It’s not fair. Why can’t anybody ever cooperate with me? And then we found out that the terrorists were on welfare. I was sooooo mad! I wanted everyone to think welfare is good, and everyone on welfare is a good guy. It’s not fair! Everything I stand for looks so bad and stupid! Why couldn’t the bombers be white guys from the Tea Party? This was a terrible day because I looked stupid! It was the Tea Party’s fault!

Next thing you know, some awful nasty Republicans in the House of Representatives wanted to have hearings on Benghazi. I already told you guys, “there’s nothing to see here.” But NOOOOO, they just don’t trust me. It’s not fair! Now it looks like I was sleeping or traveling to Las Vegas when I should have been giving the order to save those stupid guys in Benghazi. Well, it’s not my fault they got killed. I needed to sleep. I get cranky if I don’t get my sleep. It’s all over, but those stupid Republicans keep bringing up the past. What difference does it make anyway? This is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. Maybe I’ll move to Mexico. At least the people there understand me.

Well, just when you think things would get better for me, something happens to make me red in the face again! It’s not fair! The IRS had to go and admit that they were harassing my enemies, you know, the Tea Party, patriotic Americans, Jewish groups, all that stuff that makes my life hard and just keeps me from doing whatever I want! So now, what do you think people will say about me? They all hate me. This IRS stuff was a secret! Benghazi was a secret! But NOOOOO! The people who were supposed to be my friends started blabbing all over the place about this stuff. They can’t do anything right! And it’s their fault that I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. I’m moving to somewhere people respect what I do. I’ll think I’ll move to North Korea.

by Marjorie Haun  5/14/13

Mothers: Warriors on Life’s Front Lines

May 12, 2013

FOR ALL THE MOTHER’S IN MY FAMILY AND AMONG MY FRIENDS:

A tribute written by Terrence Owen, May 12, 2013

On this Mother’s Day morning, I would like to salute the FRONT LINE SOLDIERS in the battle of life and survival of the species. These are the troopers who fight the battles of infancy and childhood up close. They are the nurses who lose nights of sleep to bring their patient through the pain, misery and trauma of childhood diseases and illnesses; who bandage the wounds of the battles against tree and pavement and playground, and whose mere kiss can make better the contusions and abrasions suffered. They are the line cooks who fill the bellies of the pint sized warriors. … And the laundry technicians who keep the uniforms of childhood’s army clean and patched. They are the counselors who guide the spirit of the small battalions … … And the Sergeants who run the motor pools that see our tiny soldiers to the front lines of school and ballet and basketball and soccer and gymnastics and wherever else our little troops are called to serve. They are the ones who lay awake at night worrying about their teenage warriors, out learning to cope with the social injustices of the world. Wherever childhood shows it’s face, there is a FRONT LINE SOLDIER. Some fail, some don’t even try. But most of these lifetime warriors succeed splendidly and thus our species continues on. Thank you for your lifetime of service. Thank you Mothers for your lives of sacrifice on the front lines of life. We stand in AWE of your dedication and love.

Posted with permission 5/12/13

America’s Mothers Fight Back

 BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com. 

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 12, 2013

The American mother is not simply a guardian of the nest, but the guardian of liberty as well.  Motherhood is not just nurturing the future generation, but preserving the future into which that generation will walk.

There are few things more sacred than motherhood.

I have written in the past about the “Revenge of the Natalists,” regarding Conservative conquest via the tendency among Liberals to thin out their own herd through reproductive attrition.  Simply stated; Republicans and Conservatives have higher birth rates and lower abortion rates than do Democrats and Liberals, and so within a generation the Right will dominate through sheer numbers.  And despite the fact that many young adults are indoctrinated by the Left in colleges and universities, more often than not, they return to the values and family model with which they were raised.

Women and mothers hold a position of great power in determining the future of the American family, which is America’s future. And America’s future determines the quality of life for all in a future world.  The abortion lobby, women’s groups, liberals who push anti-traditional marriage legislation, would minimize and disrupt the role of mothers in America.  The welfare state effectively jettisons fathers out of homes and the lives of children because it supports and rewards those women who bear children outside of marriage.  But there are powerful women throughout America, and other countries, who push against the tide which would destroy womanhood, motherhood, marriage, and families.  Mothers and women are “the Lord’s secret weapon,” in reclaiming the freedoms with which He endows us.

The word “mother” is not applicable only to those women who have borne children from their wombs, and raised them in the circling safety of an intact  family. Every woman who put asides selfish, and material considerations to devote herself to preserving a free, prosperous and righteous future for the children of America, and of the world, is an American mom.  Sheri Dew, a leader of my church, is a woman who has never married or had children of her own.  She is a best-selling biographer and former CEO of a major bookseller.  But she, like me, considers all women who serve God and the cause of Liberty, to be “Mothers in Israel.” I have included excerpts from a talk she gave in 2001.

“…When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”³—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality,⁴ righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood.⁵ Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.”

The American mother is not simply a guardian of the nest, but the guardian of liberty as well.  Motherhood is not just nurturing the future generation, but preserving the future into which that generation will walk.

“…As mothers in Israel, we are the Lord’s secret weapon. Our influence comes from a divine endowment that has been in place from the beginning. In the premortal world, when our Father described our role, I wonder if we didn’t stand in wide-eyed wonder that He would bless us with a sacred trust so central to His plan and that He would endow us with gifts so vital to the loving and leading of His children. I wonder if we shouted for joy¹² at least in part because of the ennobling stature He gave us in His kingdom. The world won’t tell you that, but the Spirit will.”

Women are leaders in the Tea Party,  9/12 groups, and the Conservative Right in the Republican party.   The so-called women’s movement has failed; abortion, anti-male, anti-father, anti-family sentiments, have failed.  The backlash against the Old Feminists has come from a generation of women who reject the lie that males and females are non-differentiated in their professional capacities and social roles.  We know instinctively that the greatest fulfillment comes from the nurturing, loving, and teaching aspects of our femininity.  We also know that we can be highly educated, professional, equal help-meets to the men in our lives, and do so without sacrificing the joys of raising children.  We know that education, family and children, and career, all come in due time, in a healthy life sequence.  Our lives are long, our intellects keen, and our capacity limitless.  We know these things come, not from the old feminists or so-called women’s movements, but from God’s blessings and the free country he gave us.

“…I know, I absolutely know, that these doctrines about our divine role are true, and that when understood they bring peace and purpose to all women. My dear sisters, whom I love more than I know how to express, will you rise to the challenge of being mothers in these perilous times, though doing so may test the last ounce of your endurance and courage and faith? Will you stand steadfast and immovable as a mother in Israel and a woman of God? Our Father and His Only Begotten Son have given us a sacred stewardship and a holy crown in their kingdom. May we rejoice in it. And may we be worthy of Their trust. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

There is a war on women, and it is coming from the Left. It is a war on mothers and motherhood. But we are the Lord’s secret weapon, and our faith in Him is our best defense in the conflict of liberty.

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

Ronald Reagan

By Marjorie Haun 4/12/13

Yoda Goes to Therapy with The Little Red Hen

 BUY NOW! “Little Bird Dog and the Big Ship” and “Saving the Vietnamese Orphans,” books One and Two of  ”The Heroes of the Vietnam War: Books for Children” by Marjorie Haun. These are the FIRST positive, patriotic children’s non-fiction books about the Vietnam War. Now Available online at:  Barnes and Nobel.com ,  Amazon.com, and BooksAMillion.com. 

SAVING THE VIETNAMESE ORPHANS

LITTLE BIRD DOG AND THE BIG SHIP

May 11, 2013

What would happen if an iconic little green outer space creature struggling with depression, sought help from the world’s most famous Capitalist fowl. Sit back and enjoy as Yoda Goes to Therapy with The Little Red Hen.

Characters:

The patient, Yoda

Mental health counselor, The Little Red Hen

Setting:

The Little Red Hen’s Office

Little Red Hen: Come on in little fella’. Can you please hurry the hell up? What’s taking you so long, shorty?

Yoda: Couch, upon it, I cannot get.

LRH: Fine, just snuggle down here on the floor. Here, I’ll get you an egg to sit on. Bugawwwwwwwk! Ahhh. Here you go little guy.

Yoda: Egg, to sit upon are you asking me?

LRH: Duh! Sit your little warm ass down and incubate my kid. No reason you can’t be useful during our little visit. Now, what brings you to my office Mr. Yogi?

Yoda: Yoda, Mr. Yoda my name is.

LRH: What the hell kind of name is that? Yoda? Sheesh. Okay, Mr. Yoda. Before we begin let’s do our suicide check. Mr. Yoyo, do you feel the irresistible urge to harm yourself or anyone else?

Yoda: Ahhh…urge to harm, yes, yes.

LRH: Really, and who do you want to harm?

Yoda: Dark side, Yeeesss, evil forces, urge to conquer I have.

LRH: Cripes, this is way too much work. Can you just frigging bugawwwwk! Talk like a human?

Yoda: Ahh, but human I am not.

LRH: Okay already! Just frigging talk like an American then!

Yoda: I see. Like American talk will I, “Obama phone, I got me Obama phone.”

LRH: Never mind–just go back to talking like…where ever the hell you’re from. Do you have any suicidal thoughts?

Yoda: Hmm, suicidal thoughts I have not. Violence, my way is not. Sadness, shake off I cannot.

LRH: So, you feel sad. Well, you’re a stunted, homely green man with hairy ears and a major language impairment. You SHOULD feel sad! I would kill myself if I were you. Heh! Juuuuust kidding!

Yoda: (eyes well up) Yes, yes. Killing myself, now to my mind comes.  Light saber, get it may I?

LRH: IT WAS A JOKE! Just sit down. Nobody is going to kill anything in my office. Besides, you have to keep that egg warm. Why do you feel sad Mr. Abba Zabba?

 Yoda: Mr. Yoda. Ahhh, feel sad why do I? Rock band have I, problems, it has many.

LRH: Really, you have a bugaaawwwk! Rock band! What’s the name of your rock band? Heh, “The Mini Martians?” “The Greeniacs?” Oh, I got it, “The Boogers!” Ha!

Yoda: ”Twisted Syntax” name of my rock band is.

LRH: Oh yeah, the irony is heavy man. I like it.

Yoda: Like it, you do?

LRH: Sure, sure. So, your rock band, “Twisted Syntax,” is having problems and you feel sad. What’s the problem with your rock band, Mr. Yodel?

Yoda: Problem, groupies, we have. Want my baby, they all do. Problem, yeessssss.

LRH: Hmmm, have you ever had sex with a groupie.

Yoda: (silence)

LRH: Cough it up Mr. Hoda! Have you ever banged your fans?

Yoda: No. Human, I am not. Parts of human, I have not.

LRH: That ordinarily doesn’t bother groupies.

Yoda: Working parts…I have not. Very old, I am.

LRH: Sure, you’re old, yet you can front for a band called “Twisted Syntax.” I think your depression goes deeper than this. Do you feel loved?

Yoda: Understand me, no one does. Grow annoyed with me, other Jedi do. Words, in wrong order are.

LRH: So, the “Twisted Syntax” thing…did you make that up? Are you just projecting your psychological pain on to a fictitious rock band in order to cope with just how annoying you are?

Yoda: (begins to cry) Yesss…Dark Side, much power it has. Deceived many I have. Many rock concert tickets to refund, I must.

LRH: There you go…let it all out. You have to feel it to heal it. Let me tell you what. I want you to come back to me every week. I can’t help the green thing, or the fact that you’re too short for the furniture, but I can help you feel loved.  And…I’m going to refer you to Dr. Smeagol for elocution lessons.

Yoda: Electrocution? Master Jedi Yoda harmed by electrocution cannot be.

LRH: Elocution, silly, to help you overcome your annoying language patterns.  Bugggawwwk! You are soooo cute! (pinches his cheeks). As for the lack of human parts…can’t help you there. But, if you have parts that don’t work I can refer you to Dr. Westheimer if you like.

Yoda: Jedi Master must focus, upon the material world, I must not. Upon the Force, yeeesssss.

LRH: Oh, and one bit of advice from Dr. Hen, that “yeeessss” thingy you do? You sound like a pervert when you do that. Can you just stop that please?

Yoda: Ahhh, yees…

LRH: STOP! STOP IT! BUGAWWWWWKKK!

Yoda: Hmmmm…try I will.

LRH: Good boy. Now, how’s junior? Do you feel any movement?

Yoda: Hu?

LRH: The egg! Is my egg ready to hatch? (peeping sounds are heard)

Yoda: (leaping off the egg) Hatching it is! (a tiny chick emerges)

LRH: Buggaawwwk! Bugbugbug bugawwwk! Junior! Well look at that! Isn’t he just as calm as could be!

Yoda: Ahhh, yee…

LRH: Watch it!

Yoda: Oops..ahem…ahhhh. Centered he is. Calm he is. Hmmm, Jedi material could he be? Bargain with you I will. Sessions with you will I trade to train up in Jedi ways, little chicken.

LRH: Well, you know Mr. Yabba Dabba, bartering is a tricky business, but let’s give it a try. It will help your self-image because, at least for awhile, there will be a Jedi that is shorter than you! Ha, HAHAHAHA!

Yoda: His name shall be Padawan “Pekan Crow.”

LRH: Okay, little fella. How would you rate today’s session, on a scale from one to far, far, away?

Yoda: Feel better, I do. Raise up little cock, I will.

LRH: Oy vey! Don’t forget to set your appointment on the way out with the receptionist,  the Big Bad Wolf. Oh, and don’t worry about him. He had his lobotomy last month.

by Marjorie Haun  5/11/13